from the flywheel:: honest (Mallory McCormick)

by Matt MooneyFebruary 6, 2014

* the following includes a word that one might use when that same one slams the car door on his or her finger.  if such words are offensive to you, I do not want you to be offended and you may consider yourself warned.  

__________________________

As I have mentioned, I have been curating a group called flywheel– a ragtag online community I accidentally assembled by asking on facebook if any wanted to join me for some encouragement and community built around writing.  Somewhere over 50 jumped for an 8-week experiment and and most have held on and it has been quite fun to see their weekly writing pouring in on Tuesdays before midnight- when I said they were due (I’ve milked the power trip all along).

I planned on sharing some of the writing on here along the way, but have balked because there is too much good and holy- and plenty as well that is neither good nor holy.  But my main hesitancy in posting is that they would feel that I have chosen my favorites and they have been left out.  And the whole idea is to encourage them in the craft and discipline of writing and nothing makes you want to quit more than a return to the acne-faced feelings of not getting picked for the Jr high team.

So, dear flies (that’s what I call them, in love)…I am not picking my favorites.  You are my favorite.  My wife is in the group, so you are my second favorite.  To be honest, I have not gotten to read them all yet and I am a bad person.  But keep writing and the greatest lesson I could give you would be to tell the feelings of inferiority to shove it and write anyway.  With no further ado…a post from this weeks litter.

This week’s topic was less a topic at all and more of a challenge.  I asked them to write honestly.  We all tend to pose and buff the rough places out and we also all tend to know what will get the most likes or views; and such thinking typically irons out all of the parts that made me want to know more about you in the first place.  And below, well, she was honest and I thank her for that.

______________________

An Honesty Table About Church Ladies
(Mallory McCormick)

I swear to Moses, the next time some well-meaning, church lady comes up to me and says something to the tune of ‘Oh, the Lord has someone so great for you, just wait and see!” I am going to look her straight in the face and tell her that she is full of shit.

And I will probably throw in a “Get behind me, Satan” as I push past her to see if I can sniff out where they keep the donuts in the fellowship hall.

Is this an attitude of a gracious, Proverbs 31 woman? Obviously not. Unnecessarily profane and rude? Unless aforementioned church lady has a really good sense of humor, then most likely, yes.

Honesty Table: I don’t care.

I get it, though. In the Christian Southern culture proper, singleness as a woman in your mid-twenties edges on uncomfortable ground for all involved parties. We don’t play well with others: too old for college ministry, not old enough for the Golden Age Spares-N-Pairs class, and potentially incompatible with married peers who are focusing on walking in the roles of spouse and parent. And, let’s be real, the “Young Professionals” scene can feel like real life ChristianMingle except without the perks of privacy settings. Noticing the awkwardness but being too genteel to address it directly, church ladies want, I believe very sincerely, to help smooth the plight of the single, young woman with platitudes and paraphrased bits of Scripture.

The problem, Ma’am, is that for all your good intentions, you are robbing me of Jesus. Or rather, helping Satan rob Jesus of me.

The truth is that some of the women in my generation, including myself, could very well wait their entire lives and never have an eligible bachelor come out from behind Door #3. With the seeming scarcity of men that are daily having a conversation with the Lord, the odds aren’t actually in my favor if we do the math. However, even if the numbers were on my side, the “substance of things hoped for” in Hebrews is not referencing a belief in a promised spouse. It is talking about the belief that God is better. Better than what our senses can muster, better than the things our hands can fashion, better than the relationships we can grow, better than the breath that keeps us moving.

So, instead of bolstering morale with empty promises, speak to me the Truths that Christ paid for with His blood: that God’s Better is what existence is about, and His unfathomable grace and love allow me to be an all-in participant in this story. Different roles and situations will open my eyes to different aspects of the scenes in which He places me. But no matter where He puts me on the stage or who He does or does not put me next to, He beckons my attention be always on Him as director. He defines my role, and my role’s importance is not free-standing but instead is derived from the fact that it is a vehicle by which He brings about the overall theme (His Glory).

Church Lady, don’t short change me by putting undue weight and expectation on a role that God may not ever ask me to play. Even if He does, recognize that these roles are ever-shifting and rarely what we imagine no matter how our crafty little paws try to manipulate them. Our deepest joy will never be found in them.

Our deepest joy is found in the Director and the Love by which He calls us to the stage.

That is it. And that is enough.

* the following includes a word that one might use when that same one slams the car door on his or her finger.  if such words are offensive to you, I do not want you to be offended and you may consider yourself warned.  

__________________________

As I have mentioned, I have been curating a group called flywheel– a ragtag online community I accidentally assembled by asking on facebook if any wanted to join me for some encouragement and community built around writing.  Somewhere over 50 jumped for an 8-week experiment and and most have held on and it has been quite fun to see their weekly writing pouring in on Tuesdays before midnight- when I said they were due (I’ve milked the power trip all along).

I planned on sharing some of the writing on here along the way, but have balked because there is too much good and holy- and plenty as well that is neither good nor holy.  But my main hesitancy in posting is that they would feel that I have chosen my favorites and they have been left out.  And the whole idea is to encourage them in the craft and discipline of writing and nothing makes you want to quit more than a return to the acne-faced feelings of not getting picked for the Jr high team.

So, dear flies (that’s what I call them, in love)…I am not picking my favorites.  You are my favorite.  My wife is in the group, so you are my second favorite.  To be honest, I have not gotten to read them all yet and I am a bad person.  But keep writing and the greatest lesson I could give you would be to tell the feelings of inferiority to shove it and write anyway.  With no further ado…a post from this weeks litter.

This week’s topic was less a topic at all and more of a challenge.  I asked them to write honestly.  We all tend to pose and buff the rough places out and we also all tend to know what will get the most likes or views; and such thinking typically irons out all of the parts that made me want to know more about you in the first place.  And below, well, she was honest and I thank her for that.

______________________

An Honesty Table About Church Ladies
(Mallory McCormick)

I swear to Moses, the next time some well-meaning, church lady comes up to me and says something to the tune of ‘Oh, the Lord has someone so great for you, just wait and see!” I am going to look her straight in the face and tell her that she is full of shit.

And I will probably throw in a “Get behind me, Satan” as I push past her to see if I can sniff out where they keep the donuts in the fellowship hall.

Is this an attitude of a gracious, Proverbs 31 woman? Obviously not. Unnecessarily profane and rude? Unless aforementioned church lady has a really good sense of humor, then most likely, yes.

Honesty Table: I don’t care.

I get it, though. In the Christian Southern culture proper, singleness as a woman in your mid-twenties edges on uncomfortable ground for all involved parties. We don’t play well with others: too old for college ministry, not old enough for the Golden Age Spares-N-Pairs class, and potentially incompatible with married peers who are focusing on walking in the roles of spouse and parent. And, let’s be real, the “Young Professionals” scene can feel like real life ChristianMingle except without the perks of privacy settings. Noticing the awkwardness but being too genteel to address it directly, church ladies want, I believe very sincerely, to help smooth the plight of the single, young woman with platitudes and paraphrased bits of Scripture.

The problem, Ma’am, is that for all your good intentions, you are robbing me of Jesus. Or rather, helping Satan rob Jesus of me.

The truth is that some of the women in my generation, including myself, could very well wait their entire lives and never have an eligible bachelor come out from behind Door #3. With the seeming scarcity of men that are daily having a conversation with the Lord, the odds aren’t actually in my favor if we do the math. However, even if the numbers were on my side, the “substance of things hoped for” in Hebrews is not referencing a belief in a promised spouse. It is talking about the belief that God is better. Better than what our senses can muster, better than the things our hands can fashion, better than the relationships we can grow, better than the breath that keeps us moving.

So, instead of bolstering morale with empty promises, speak to me the Truths that Christ paid for with His blood: that God’s Better is what existence is about, and His unfathomable grace and love allow me to be an all-in participant in this story. Different roles and situations will open my eyes to different aspects of the scenes in which He places me. But no matter where He puts me on the stage or who He does or does not put me next to, He beckons my attention be always on Him as director. He defines my role, and my role’s importance is not free-standing but instead is derived from the fact that it is a vehicle by which He brings about the overall theme (His Glory).

Church Lady, don’t short change me by putting undue weight and expectation on a role that God may not ever ask me to play. Even if He does, recognize that these roles are ever-shifting and rarely what we imagine no matter how our crafty little paws try to manipulate them. Our deepest joy will never be found in them.

Our deepest joy is found in the Director and the Love by which He calls us to the stage.

That is it. And that is enough.