Over the last week, since we dropped a bomb via our last blog post, we have had ample opportunity to provide the following response to a plethora of questions: “We don’t know”.
How are we planning to afford it?
What is our home plan (we have a 2-bedroom)?
How long could it take?
What measure of certainty do you have that it will happen?
What is her diagnosis, condition, potential?
And I’ll warn you now, be careful with this last question & be sure to come across more caring than bewildered- or you’ll see a different side of me whereby I end our conversation with something in the ballpark of asking of what exactly you are inquiring. The question is not one of her particular diagnosis or potential, but one of whether she is to be added to our family. That’s the only question. If the answer is yes, then the rest is irrelevant. We should never saddle potential adoptive children with more restrictions than we would our own flesh and blood.
What was Eliot’s potential?
Would you really dare ask me that? If so, don’t expect to walk away with the same number of teeth you approached me with.
And all of this has probably been good for me- the public’s discourse with my most intimate thoughts. Although, if so, it’s the kind of good whereby I’m the kid who fights swallowing the very medicine that holds the cure. It’s hard to pinpoint the movements of the heart prior to getting your own head around the issue at hand. But everything worth pursuing starts in the heart and the head always lags behind. I find the inexplicable most beautiful.
How does one make a decision this big?
How does one say no once you know her story?
Once you’ve seen her face. Once you have moved from naive to horrified. When you know the institution by name that she is destined to be moved to…because she’s not perfect.
However, truth be known, where our hearts are, it takes at least equal faith to say no as it does to say yes. To believe that God will prevail for her regardless of us. Because this is not about us.
And yet, in the larger scope, how does one even begin to think this is in any way enough; that it even begins to address the problem that we as believers have been instructed to address. That this, in any way, provides hope for the thousands upon thousands of children abandoned due to being deemed broken.
We don’t know.
Here’s where we are, and we do want you to know, to pray and to hope with us. Again, our attitude is that we are moving forward in all areas with open hands along the way.
– We are just beginning to print off a mountain of forms to fill out, but haven’t made a dent. With Ukraine, one does not have to go through an agency, so we are making that decision soon.
– We met with an architect last week who is designing an addition to our house that would make our garage useable space as well as adding two bedrooms and two baths.
– Due to job changes, I have been shoring up adequate health insurance so we have what we need if all progresses.
Thanks for caring.
1,237 Comments
Over the last week, since we dropped a bomb via our last blog post, we have had ample opportunity to provide the following response to a plethora of questions: “We don’t know”.
How are we planning to afford it?
What is our home plan (we have a 2-bedroom)?
How long could it take?
What measure of certainty do you have that it will happen?
What is her diagnosis, condition, potential?
And I’ll warn you now, be careful with this last question & be sure to come across more caring than bewildered- or you’ll see a different side of me whereby I end our conversation with something in the ballpark of asking of what exactly you are inquiring. The question is not one of her particular diagnosis or potential, but one of whether she is to be added to our family. That’s the only question. If the answer is yes, then the rest is irrelevant. We should never saddle potential adoptive children with more restrictions than we would our own flesh and blood.
What was Eliot’s potential?
Would you really dare ask me that? If so, don’t expect to walk away with the same number of teeth you approached me with.
And all of this has probably been good for me- the public’s discourse with my most intimate thoughts. Although, if so, it’s the kind of good whereby I’m the kid who fights swallowing the very medicine that holds the cure. It’s hard to pinpoint the movements of the heart prior to getting your own head around the issue at hand. But everything worth pursuing starts in the heart and the head always lags behind. I find the inexplicable most beautiful.
How does one make a decision this big?
How does one say no once you know her story?
Once you’ve seen her face. Once you have moved from naive to horrified. When you know the institution by name that she is destined to be moved to…because she’s not perfect.
However, truth be known, where our hearts are, it takes at least equal faith to say no as it does to say yes. To believe that God will prevail for her regardless of us. Because this is not about us.
And yet, in the larger scope, how does one even begin to think this is in any way enough; that it even begins to address the problem that we as believers have been instructed to address. That this, in any way, provides hope for the thousands upon thousands of children abandoned due to being deemed broken.
We don’t know.
Here’s where we are, and we do want you to know, to pray and to hope with us. Again, our attitude is that we are moving forward in all areas with open hands along the way.
– We are just beginning to print off a mountain of forms to fill out, but haven’t made a dent. With Ukraine, one does not have to go through an agency, so we are making that decision soon.
– We met with an architect last week who is designing an addition to our house that would make our garage useable space as well as adding two bedrooms and two baths.
– Due to job changes, I have been shoring up adequate health insurance so we have what we need if all progresses.
Thanks for caring.
1,237 Comments
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on January 20, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Amen and amen!
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on January 20, 2011 at 9:44 pm
God bless. I am in awe of you both, and secretly jealous. I have always wanted to adopt twin chinese girls. I want that big family. I am so grateful for what I have and yet I struggle with God and why I, have so much loss, when there is nothing I wanted more in this world was to have a big family. I know, it sounds ungrateful and I am not, its just something I am struggling to accept and find God’s promise and purpose.
Congratulations! I will certainly pray for you all. Fear is good, makes you grow. God will provide.
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on January 20, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Proud of your passionate protection over a child of God, no matter what the future holds. Praying!!
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on January 21, 2011 at 12:03 am
BLOWN AWAY….Chris and I just read the last two posts and are speechless!! We are so convicted and so excited for y’all. WE ARE CHEERING YOU ON!!! She is beyond precious….
Love,
The Wheelers
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on January 21, 2011 at 12:27 am
As an adoptive mother, I am always amazed at people’s questions about my adopted kids that would never come up for a biological child. We received a call about our first child whom we had prayed and longed for and the coordinator told us that there was a health problem involved. She asked us to be sure about accepting this placement. It took all of 5 mins (and that is on the long side) to say “YES”. Why, as we were asked repeatedly? Really? Do you have those kinds of choices with a biological child? Maybe some do, but not us. We believe that this is God’s decision and we are here for Him. If we had given birth to C, we could not have decided after birth that since he has a problem, we did not want him. Accepting C for all that he is has been one of the greatest gifts of our lives, rivaled only by the arrival of his brother A, also through the gift of adoption.
Praying for your family and for your newest through this whole process!
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on January 21, 2011 at 8:34 am
It is amazing to hear of your journey with God….how He is using you and your family for such great works, that glorify Him. How awe-inspiring that He has brought you to this girl, for whatever His purpose, which I am sure He will reveal in His own perfect timing. While I cannot begin to fathom what you and your wife have gone through with Elliot, it certainly makes one appreciate the awesome ways of God, who can use such a tiny life in such a big way that is continuing to lead you to miracles such as Lena! Praying for you and your family, and for that precious little one in the Ukraine.
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on January 21, 2011 at 9:26 am
To me, her potential is that she can be part of a family that loves and cares for her, and that’s the most exciting potential I can think of for a child.
She’s a face I see in my memory frequently, and I’m praying for your family, Lena…and the whole big process! I did some jumping around in my living room when I read your first post….can’t wait to follow the journey. Amy
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on January 21, 2011 at 11:45 am
Praying for you…and so moved by what you are doing!
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on January 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm
I understand where you are coming from, when questions don’t come from genuine concern but from other motives. However as I know you already know, the only opinion that truly matters is our Heavenly Father’s. And he knew exactly what He was doing when He made Elena real to you and Ginny. Praying for you both. Life sure is a race, isn’t it?
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on January 30, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Hi! I am a long time reader, but rarely comment. My husband and I have recently been offered a bizarre and yet very God orchestrated opportunity to possibly adopt a 15 year old orphan from the Philippines. We are thrilled. Our three children are as well. Everyone else looks at us kind of like we have lost our minds. But all we can do is put one foot in front of the other. I know this girl, I spent 2 weeks with her this fall…she is precious to us already and we will move ahead until God shuts the door.
I am thrilled for you guys! I will be praying for you!
Amy
Amen and amen!
God bless. I am in awe of you both, and secretly jealous. I have always wanted to adopt twin chinese girls. I want that big family. I am so grateful for what I have and yet I struggle with God and why I, have so much loss, when there is nothing I wanted more in this world was to have a big family. I know, it sounds ungrateful and I am not, its just something I am struggling to accept and find God’s promise and purpose.
Congratulations! I will certainly pray for you all. Fear is good, makes you grow. God will provide.
Proud of your passionate protection over a child of God, no matter what the future holds. Praying!!
BLOWN AWAY….Chris and I just read the last two posts and are speechless!! We are so convicted and so excited for y’all. WE ARE CHEERING YOU ON!!! She is beyond precious….
Love,
The Wheelers
As an adoptive mother, I am always amazed at people’s questions about my adopted kids that would never come up for a biological child. We received a call about our first child whom we had prayed and longed for and the coordinator told us that there was a health problem involved. She asked us to be sure about accepting this placement. It took all of 5 mins (and that is on the long side) to say “YES”. Why, as we were asked repeatedly? Really? Do you have those kinds of choices with a biological child? Maybe some do, but not us. We believe that this is God’s decision and we are here for Him. If we had given birth to C, we could not have decided after birth that since he has a problem, we did not want him. Accepting C for all that he is has been one of the greatest gifts of our lives, rivaled only by the arrival of his brother A, also through the gift of adoption.
Praying for your family and for your newest through this whole process!
It is amazing to hear of your journey with God….how He is using you and your family for such great works, that glorify Him. How awe-inspiring that He has brought you to this girl, for whatever His purpose, which I am sure He will reveal in His own perfect timing. While I cannot begin to fathom what you and your wife have gone through with Elliot, it certainly makes one appreciate the awesome ways of God, who can use such a tiny life in such a big way that is continuing to lead you to miracles such as Lena! Praying for you and your family, and for that precious little one in the Ukraine.
To me, her potential is that she can be part of a family that loves and cares for her, and that’s the most exciting potential I can think of for a child.
She’s a face I see in my memory frequently, and I’m praying for your family, Lena…and the whole big process! I did some jumping around in my living room when I read your first post….can’t wait to follow the journey. Amy
Praying for you…and so moved by what you are doing!
I understand where you are coming from, when questions don’t come from genuine concern but from other motives. However as I know you already know, the only opinion that truly matters is our Heavenly Father’s. And he knew exactly what He was doing when He made Elena real to you and Ginny. Praying for you both. Life sure is a race, isn’t it?
Hi! I am a long time reader, but rarely comment. My husband and I have recently been offered a bizarre and yet very God orchestrated opportunity to possibly adopt a 15 year old orphan from the Philippines. We are thrilled. Our three children are as well. Everyone else looks at us kind of like we have lost our minds. But all we can do is put one foot in front of the other. I know this girl, I spent 2 weeks with her this fall…she is precious to us already and we will move ahead until God shuts the door.
I am thrilled for you guys! I will be praying for you!
Amy