An Unfinished Story

by Annie DownsJune 4, 2013

I ate a salad for lunch.

Listen, if you don’t know me, let me tell you why that is weird: I don’t really like salads. But I ate it. It was fine, it wasn’t awesome, but it fed me and I am grateful.

I eat salads even when I don’t love them, but I’m not on a diet.

I ate a salad for lunch because I want to see the end of this unfinished story.

Let me explain.

For about eight years-ish, I’ve known I had a disease called PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome- with a side order of insulin resistance.

Polycystic ovarian syndrome is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. If it is not treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease.

(So that sounds like fun, eh?)

Because I’m very mature and awesome (sarcasm), I’ve virtually ignored the ways to manage this disease since being diagnosed – exercise, eat healthy, take some pills- even though I knew it was real and that the disease lived in me.

But I hate dieting and have failed at it pretty regularly for the last 20 years, so I’ve never really changed how I eat to deal with PCOS. Honestly, the biggest side effect is not being able to get pregnant and since I am single, that wasn’t a concern for me.

Truth? I have not been mature enough to look past the immediate to the long-term benefits.

In January, I sat at brunch and listened to my dear friend Kelley talk about her chronic disease and how, when her symptoms flare up, she ups the discipline in her eating and so far, so good. I mean, the girl is beating a serious disease by doing what the doctors said to do.

I was stunned. I was changed. I don’t know what made all the pieces click together in my mind that morning, probably just God and His mercy, but they did. Why in the WORLD do I not take my equally chronic, though decidedly less serious, disease with the same focus that she takes hers?

I came home from brunch and googled like crazy. I wanted to read all about PCOS and change the way I eat- not because of how I look, but because of how I feel and the story I want my life to tell. Sure, doctors have told me for years how to live and what to do. But all the sudden, all the things I had heard sounded like a lifestyle choice, not just a boring diet, and I realized it was time to change.

Someday, I want to be married and I want to have a family. I say that with my mouth but then I feed that same mouth all the things that work against my body and could keep me from being able to be pregnant. So I quit. At the beginning of February, I just quit living like PCOS wasn’t affecting me. I quit dairy, I lowered my gluten intake, I avoid processed foods, and I eat as many veggies as I can bring myself to eat.

Mainly, I decided to give my body what it needs to heal. And unfortunately, that doesn’t look like Taco Bell.

The fears whisper… what if it doesn’t matter? What if you never get married? What if you do all this healthy eating and exercise and still can’t get pregnant someday?

The fears are there, but God is louder. I trust His ability to compose a story, even when I don’t see the end. I just know what this main character is supposed to do in this chapter to be able to turn the next page. And, regardless of the outcome, I have to believe it’s the right thing to do.

It may be unfinished, but it is a story. And I want to live it well.

So bring on the salads and someday, my kids will thank me.

 

[ts_fab]

14 Comments

  1. emily p freeman on June 4, 2013 at 7:38 am

    I love this, Annie. I love it because it reminds me how sometimes it doesn’t make sense the things that make something huge like this click in our brains – for you it was hearing someone else tell her story. It wasn’t the doctors or the rules or what you knew to be true in your head. It was hearing your friend speak of her experience, and that is powerful.

    Cheering you on from one state over.

  2. matt mooney on June 4, 2013 at 9:37 am

    Annie, thanks so much for your help and for your words. I could stand a salad or two as well…..but even more so I like your words and reminder that each day is an opportunity to step closer to our full selves.

  3. Kim Fernando on June 4, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Annie, I’m the same way, and I so totally relate to this. I was diagnosed with three serious illnesses in my 20s after years and years of being sick, and I STILL ignored all the doctor’s advice until I read a book by a woman who overcame illness and suddenly had that same “a-ha!” moment. I know all those fears you’re talking about, but keep going! You can do it! Even when nothing happens fast the benefits are incredible. I saw gradual changes over the course of two years but those changes helped me reach remission, and I also felt like God healed me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually in the process in ways that are so hard to describe. Also, I want to thank you for sharing your story… hearing it kind of made things click for me again, and I’m grateful for that.

  4. Hillary Leigh Richardson on June 4, 2013 at 11:42 am

    This is so wonderful. I specifically liked “The fears are there, but God is louder”. I need to remember that. You’re a warrior, Annie!

  5. Mia on June 5, 2013 at 12:39 am

    Wow. No matter the situation, that last paragraph, so powerful, will fit…God is louder. That’s a framer of a paragraph, Annie.

  6. Debra Stevens on June 10, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you. For being so open and transparent. And brave. I never wanted to believe my dx of PCOS either, but you have helped me see past the visible facts, beyond the wihspers of fear, to the obtainable hope of a finished story. Along with PCOS, I was also dx with another “nail in my coffin” – Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, which also stunts my possibilities of child-bearing, among other things. Again, thank you for being brave for the rest of us and not letting it define you, and holding on to your story that is surely a happy ending in the making, my friend.

  7. attashy on May 13, 2021 at 7:05 pm
  8. Tobacco and Vapor Zone on May 28, 2021 at 12:33 pm

    Has anyone ever been to Vapewares Vape Shop located in 8736 Lake Murray Blvd Suite 105?

  9. Simone on June 2, 2021 at 2:44 am

    is hemp a blood thinner

  10. Is anyone able to recommend quality Email Design Best Practices for 2020? Thanks very much 🙂

  11. attashy on June 9, 2021 at 12:01 pm
  12. Go Vapor on June 9, 2021 at 4:48 pm

    Has anyone shopped at Lang’s E-Cig & vape Shop? xx

  13. Create A Cig on June 11, 2021 at 7:53 pm

    I look after a vape shop website directory and we have had a listing from a vape store in the United States that additionally offers CBD items. A Month later, PayPal has written to use to say that our account has been limited and have asked us to take out PayPal as a payment solution from our vape shop website directory. We do not retail CBD products such as CBD oil. We only offer marketing and advertising professional services to CBD firms. I have visited Holland & Barrett– the UK’s Major Health and wellness Retail store and if you take a close peek, you will see that they offer a somewhat extensive variety of CBD goods, specifically CBD oil and they also happen to take PayPal as a settlement solution. It emerges that PayPal is administering twos sets of rules to different companies. As a result of this stipulation, I can no longer accept PayPal on my CBD-related internet site. This has constricted my payment options and right now, I am intensely contingent on Cryptocurrency payments and direct bank transfers. I have talked with a lawyer from a Magic Circle law firm in London and they stated that what PayPal is undertaking is entirely illegal and discriminatory as it should be applying a systematic criterion to all companies. I am still to consult yet another lawyer from a US law office in London to see what PayPal’s legal position is in the United States. In the meantime, I would be extremely appreciative if anyone here at targetdomain could provide me with different payment processors/merchants that deal with CBD firms.

  14. attashy on June 12, 2021 at 5:08 pm

Leave a Comment





I ate a salad for lunch.

Listen, if you don’t know me, let me tell you why that is weird: I don’t really like salads. But I ate it. It was fine, it wasn’t awesome, but it fed me and I am grateful.

I eat salads even when I don’t love them, but I’m not on a diet.

I ate a salad for lunch because I want to see the end of this unfinished story.

Let me explain.

For about eight years-ish, I’ve known I had a disease called PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome- with a side order of insulin resistance.

Polycystic ovarian syndrome is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. If it is not treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease.

(So that sounds like fun, eh?)

Because I’m very mature and awesome (sarcasm), I’ve virtually ignored the ways to manage this disease since being diagnosed – exercise, eat healthy, take some pills- even though I knew it was real and that the disease lived in me.

But I hate dieting and have failed at it pretty regularly for the last 20 years, so I’ve never really changed how I eat to deal with PCOS. Honestly, the biggest side effect is not being able to get pregnant and since I am single, that wasn’t a concern for me.

Truth? I have not been mature enough to look past the immediate to the long-term benefits.

In January, I sat at brunch and listened to my dear friend Kelley talk about her chronic disease and how, when her symptoms flare up, she ups the discipline in her eating and so far, so good. I mean, the girl is beating a serious disease by doing what the doctors said to do.

I was stunned. I was changed. I don’t know what made all the pieces click together in my mind that morning, probably just God and His mercy, but they did. Why in the WORLD do I not take my equally chronic, though decidedly less serious, disease with the same focus that she takes hers?

I came home from brunch and googled like crazy. I wanted to read all about PCOS and change the way I eat- not because of how I look, but because of how I feel and the story I want my life to tell. Sure, doctors have told me for years how to live and what to do. But all the sudden, all the things I had heard sounded like a lifestyle choice, not just a boring diet, and I realized it was time to change.

Someday, I want to be married and I want to have a family. I say that with my mouth but then I feed that same mouth all the things that work against my body and could keep me from being able to be pregnant. So I quit. At the beginning of February, I just quit living like PCOS wasn’t affecting me. I quit dairy, I lowered my gluten intake, I avoid processed foods, and I eat as many veggies as I can bring myself to eat.

Mainly, I decided to give my body what it needs to heal. And unfortunately, that doesn’t look like Taco Bell.

The fears whisper… what if it doesn’t matter? What if you never get married? What if you do all this healthy eating and exercise and still can’t get pregnant someday?

The fears are there, but God is louder. I trust His ability to compose a story, even when I don’t see the end. I just know what this main character is supposed to do in this chapter to be able to turn the next page. And, regardless of the outcome, I have to believe it’s the right thing to do.

It may be unfinished, but it is a story. And I want to live it well.

So bring on the salads and someday, my kids will thank me.

 

[ts_fab]

14 Comments

  1. emily p freeman on June 4, 2013 at 7:38 am

    I love this, Annie. I love it because it reminds me how sometimes it doesn’t make sense the things that make something huge like this click in our brains – for you it was hearing someone else tell her story. It wasn’t the doctors or the rules or what you knew to be true in your head. It was hearing your friend speak of her experience, and that is powerful.

    Cheering you on from one state over.

  2. matt mooney on June 4, 2013 at 9:37 am

    Annie, thanks so much for your help and for your words. I could stand a salad or two as well…..but even more so I like your words and reminder that each day is an opportunity to step closer to our full selves.

  3. Kim Fernando on June 4, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Annie, I’m the same way, and I so totally relate to this. I was diagnosed with three serious illnesses in my 20s after years and years of being sick, and I STILL ignored all the doctor’s advice until I read a book by a woman who overcame illness and suddenly had that same “a-ha!” moment. I know all those fears you’re talking about, but keep going! You can do it! Even when nothing happens fast the benefits are incredible. I saw gradual changes over the course of two years but those changes helped me reach remission, and I also felt like God healed me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually in the process in ways that are so hard to describe. Also, I want to thank you for sharing your story… hearing it kind of made things click for me again, and I’m grateful for that.

  4. Hillary Leigh Richardson on June 4, 2013 at 11:42 am

    This is so wonderful. I specifically liked “The fears are there, but God is louder”. I need to remember that. You’re a warrior, Annie!

  5. Mia on June 5, 2013 at 12:39 am

    Wow. No matter the situation, that last paragraph, so powerful, will fit…God is louder. That’s a framer of a paragraph, Annie.

  6. Debra Stevens on June 10, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you. For being so open and transparent. And brave. I never wanted to believe my dx of PCOS either, but you have helped me see past the visible facts, beyond the wihspers of fear, to the obtainable hope of a finished story. Along with PCOS, I was also dx with another “nail in my coffin” – Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, which also stunts my possibilities of child-bearing, among other things. Again, thank you for being brave for the rest of us and not letting it define you, and holding on to your story that is surely a happy ending in the making, my friend.

  7. attashy on May 13, 2021 at 7:05 pm
  8. Tobacco and Vapor Zone on May 28, 2021 at 12:33 pm

    Has anyone ever been to Vapewares Vape Shop located in 8736 Lake Murray Blvd Suite 105?

  9. Simone on June 2, 2021 at 2:44 am

    is hemp a blood thinner

  10. Is anyone able to recommend quality Email Design Best Practices for 2020? Thanks very much 🙂

  11. attashy on June 9, 2021 at 12:01 pm
  12. Go Vapor on June 9, 2021 at 4:48 pm

    Has anyone shopped at Lang’s E-Cig & vape Shop? xx

  13. Create A Cig on June 11, 2021 at 7:53 pm

    I look after a vape shop website directory and we have had a listing from a vape store in the United States that additionally offers CBD items. A Month later, PayPal has written to use to say that our account has been limited and have asked us to take out PayPal as a payment solution from our vape shop website directory. We do not retail CBD products such as CBD oil. We only offer marketing and advertising professional services to CBD firms. I have visited Holland & Barrett– the UK’s Major Health and wellness Retail store and if you take a close peek, you will see that they offer a somewhat extensive variety of CBD goods, specifically CBD oil and they also happen to take PayPal as a settlement solution. It emerges that PayPal is administering twos sets of rules to different companies. As a result of this stipulation, I can no longer accept PayPal on my CBD-related internet site. This has constricted my payment options and right now, I am intensely contingent on Cryptocurrency payments and direct bank transfers. I have talked with a lawyer from a Magic Circle law firm in London and they stated that what PayPal is undertaking is entirely illegal and discriminatory as it should be applying a systematic criterion to all companies. I am still to consult yet another lawyer from a US law office in London to see what PayPal’s legal position is in the United States. In the meantime, I would be extremely appreciative if anyone here at targetdomain could provide me with different payment processors/merchants that deal with CBD firms.

  14. attashy on June 12, 2021 at 5:08 pm

Leave a Comment