letters from a prison (almost)

photo credit: hopscotch_mom

Our home addition is taking shape fast. We’ll post some pics soon. It has been fun (and loud) to have a tangible reminder that though it is all the same, it is all changing.

This short week has been long on adoption work. I handed 5 months worth of arduous paperwork to the fedex woman on Thursday and asked her how it felt to hold a life in her hands. I didn’t smile when I said it. She seemed to carry on with the task at hand as if it were just another package; it most definitely was not. I wanted her share in some of the weight that I felt in handing it off. That parcel better end up in Ukraine untouched or she’ll receive a much more awkward visit.

photo credit: contri

This unfortunately is what has happened somewhere along the way in this crazy process of shuffling biological parents with other ones. It is us against the world. And my bottom shoe converse imprint will take residence on your forehead if you get in my way.

I am quite certain that I would be writing this letter Martin Luther King JR style- from prison- if I could have ever gotten face to face with USCIS this week. Incompetence is the only word that comes to mind, but that seems such a lofty goal for them to pursue.

And in such a week as this, the juxtapositions of grace permeated the thick air of my warpath. There was the one guy at USCIS who went out of his way to assist us- even though we were not a part of his caseload. And Kim at the Secretary of State’s office helped me circumvent a few requirements that kept me from a return trip to Little Rock- the road I had just traveled to get to her office.

And this brings up something that has puzzled me for at least two decades now. Why is it that doing something seemingly good is not easy? Why is it that all doors don’t fling open when you seek to do what you know is right and that to which you know you have been led to? This is the acknowledged ammunition of so many people who can’t believe there’s a good god behind all of this.

And look, save any pity- I know that people are seeking to do many things much greater than I ever thought of; and so many individuals have experienced horrific things this very week- things that I have not even tasted.

I’m just saying that I can relate to the many who struggle to fathom that a divinity really sets up there and doesn’t reach down and fix this whole (insert your own expletive) mess. If you cannot, we probably wouldn’t be friends, and I also assume you have a lot of bumper stickers or have never traveled outside of the town you were born.

But I do believe. More this week than ever. The fact that I feel as deeply as I do for her testifies to Him. How did I get here? Where is the origin of my wrath if not seeded by the bounty of His justice. The fountainhead of my love is found in Him alone.

To God be the glory. Great things He has done.

Now hurry up would ya.